Sunday, August 30, 2009

Can't

Yet another opportunity
I've pushed away from
One of the countless times
I’ve lost without starting

I just stand there and stare
At them
Singing… playing…
Effortlessly
Self contained and so secure

While I’ve suddenly become mute
And I try to find a reason
To get away from the music,
From the tears welling up in my eyes

I’m not original
But neither are they
Then why does my voice
Just die away?

I’m suddenly so small
Can’t bear the thought of music
So scared…
to hear my voice…
…breaking

Music is good for the soul, isn’t it?
Then why does it do this to me?
Bringing out the worst…
…fear and misery

Should I just take a vow of silence?
And quit trying to try
Quit thinking
That maybe this time
Will be different
And save myself from
The embarrassing ordeal
Just quit..

You gave me everything
Why couldn't you give me
just a little bit of courage
to hear my own voice
sing
?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Another Closure?

Closure is a strange feeling. Sometimes it takes a while to sink in... and sometimes we are just pushed into it. I had to empty my locker today; I would have kept it for another couple of years if given a choice. It was quite weird to have the mixed up memories of the past 3 years all tumbling down from that cupboard at the same time.


Bags full of fabric, rusted scissors, boxes with neatly arranged threads, buttons, needles and chalk, patterns and muslins, and quite a few surprises...



Surprises from the locker

My favourite black sweater for KMC and Audi (so that's where it has been!!)
At least ten empty or half empty polythene bags
My first assignment at NID (he he my drawing still sucks!)

Sketchbooks from "Fashion Sketching" - Enough one side used paper to last me a year
A page from the DCC assignment on sustainability
Muslin fits of some clothes - (Yeah!!! Some more clothes to wear :) )

Bobbin Elastic (I think that was from Term Garment in the second semester)
Old glossy Magazines (bought from Fernandez Bridge, for mood boards?)
An old, dried, yellow rose (where did I get that from??)

An old telephone that I used in my Diploma shoot
A jumble of wires, a jumble of thick yarn and a jumble of paper strips
An old bottle of deodorant from the first semester (smells pretty much the same still... smells just like First Semester... sigh!)